Those Obnoxious Shinobi
by marshalanime
Summary: Naruto was an ordinary shinobi living an ordinary cross-dementional live until one day a green haired alien girl shows up to play a game of tag that'll determine the fate of the world. Now his live is filling with strange and odd people of all kinds with his lovely new wife Lum at the center of it all.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone, Marshalanime here. The series Urusei Yatsura recently grabbed my attention. Despite being decades old it's still quite entertaining in my opinion and so I've desided to try my hand at a Naruto/Urusei Yatsura crossover. Surprisingly the first Naruto/Urusei Yatsura on the sight. It's really is amazing to me that no one's done a crossover between these two stories yet.**

 **This is going to be a harem story, though Lum will be the main girl. I have an idea on which girls I'll be adding but you're welcome to suggest girls if you want. At the time of writing this I've only gotten to the tenth volume of the Urusei Yatsura manga but I feel like I know enough about the series to start this story.**

 **Now, I hope you all enjoy the story!**

 **(Marshalanime does not own Naruto or Urusei Yatsura)**

Naruto Uzumaki was a young man with golden blond hair, vibrant blue eyes, a toned, fit body, and whisker like marks adorning his cheeks. On the day of his birth disaster struck resulting in many deaths and the tailed beast made to cause such destruction had been sealed within his newborn body. His mother, fearing what could happen to her son with the Kyuubi sealed in him raised the boy outside of the village, within another universe where no one knew of shinobi of jinchuriki.

It wouldn't be until the boy started going to the academy that Konoha would see him walking through its streets. Though even time could not heal all wounds. Their were many who still held great resentment for the young jinchuriki and while they could not openly display their hatred it wasn't difficult for Naruto to see it in their eyes.

That's not to say that everything in Konoha was bad for the boy. There were many in the village that he befriended over the years, the father/daughter duo who ran the raman shop, Iruka-sensei, a good portion of his classmates, old man Hokage, and his mother had many friends who were nice to him. It was just easier living in Japan.

Naruto had since graduated from the academy and entered the ranks of Konoha's shinobi force alongside Sasuke Uchiha and Sakura Haruno under the guidance of their jounin instructor, Kakashi Hatake. They had trained, learned, and grown stronger as a team but for the time being the trio were undergoing seperate training regiems. Naruto was learning under his mother, Kushina Uzumaki, and his godfather, Jiraiya. Sakura was learning medical ninjutsu from the Fifth Hokage, Tsunade Senju. Sasuke had gone off to train under Orochimaru. It wasn't a decision many were happy with, but the young Uchiha went anyway.

Currently Naruto was living an ordinary high schooler live, at least on the surface. It wasn't the most exciting live but at least he had friends at school and his training was coming along smoothly. Still, a little excitement wouldn't kill.

As Naruto was walking past an empty lot on his way home he was taken by surprise as someone yelled out for him to stop. Turning around Naruto was stunned to see a very short monk come up to him. "You mustn't go that way! Something evil will happen to you!" the monk warned the teen.

"Yeeeaaah, sure thing old man" Naruto responded before turning and continuing on his way. This was certainly out of the ordinary, but hardly the excitement Naruto was hoping for. "My house is over here so I think I'll risk what ever it is you're worried about" Naruto told the man.

"Be warned, there is an ominous shadow looming over you!" the man called out as he followed after the blond.

"Look, I don't need your superstitions so why don't you leave me... alone...?" Naruto was saying as he turned the corner, only to see a large crowd standing outside his house. "What the..." Naruto breathlessly said as one of the reporters spotted him.

"LOOK! Ms. Uzumaki's son! He's back!" the man said as he and the others rushed over to the blond, each of them shouting off questions as they shoved mics in the teen's face. Growing frustrated with the endless questions and other nonsense being thrown at him Naruto eventually let out an annoyed groan before jumping over the reporters and booking it for his front door.

Slamming the door behind him Naruto let out a sight of relief as he slumped down to the floor. 'What the heck is up with those guys?' Naruto wondered to himself just as his mother popped her head into the entrance hall, her long red hair falling over her shoulder and too the ground in the process.

"Good, you're finally home" the woman said as fully entered the entrance hall and made her way over to her son.

"What's with those guys out there?" Naruto asked, throwing his thumb over his shoulder only for Kushina to grab his other hand and pull him further into the house.

"Just come with me" Kakashi told the teen, the tone of her voice sounding like she just wanted to get this over and done with.

Being led to the sitting room Naruto say his godfather sitting down with a cup of tea in his hands. For modern day Japan Jiraiya was quite the spectacle, but the white haired man with red streaks on his face wasn't what caught Naruto's attention. No, what caught Naruto's attention was the behemoth of a man sitting opposite Jiraiya. He had short black hair styled in a small pompadour, with sideburns and thick eyebrows. He had pointed ears, fangs sticking up from his bottom jaw, and small yellow horns sticking out of his head. His attire consisted of a single tiger stripped onepeice that covered all but his head, forearms, and a bit of his chest that showed off his thick chest hair.

"Naruto! Come on, come on, have a seat" Jiraiya called the teen over. With the way the two of them sat there with friendly expressions Naruto'd almost mistake this as one of Jiraiya's old friends coming to visit, but he knew better than that. As Naruto put his body on autopilot and walked into the room, outside the clouds grew dark and stormy as a yellow and black space stations descended past the cloud cover.

"What do you mean I have to compete with an alien?" Naruto calmly asked as he, Jiraiya, Kushina, and Mr. Invader sat around the small table sipping tea. The man could explain that he was hear to conquer the Earth a thousand times over, but with this kind of atmosphere it was a bit difficult to give a serious reaction.

"They decided to leave Earths fate to a single one on one match and picked you at random. If you win then they go back to their planet without any questions" Kushina remarked with her cup held up to her mouth. Once she finished she took another sip of her drink.

"Okaaay..." the blond said as his gaze turned from his mother to the alien invader sitting not even two feet from him. This was closer to the excitement he wanted, but it was a lot stranger then he had expected. "So what are we competing in?" Naruto asked the man.

"Tag" the large man said before taking a sip from his comparatively tinny cup, and getting strangle looks from the three sitting with him. An advance alien civilization comes to invade the planet, and they decide to leave it all to a game of tag? After downing the contents of his cup the man let out a content sigh as he held out his cup for a refill. "But I won't be your opponent" the man said.

"Huh? If you're not my opponent then who is?" Naruto asked as his mother filled up the man's cup.

"That would be me" Naruto heard a feminine voice coming from behind him. Tilting his head back while also leaning back the teen was met with the sight of a girl roughly his age standing in the doorway. She had long green hair and similarly to the large man sitting in the room she had two small yellow horns, her ears were slightly pointed, and her bikiniesk clothes and knee high boots had a tiger stripped pattern. Most girls would kill for her figure and as Naruto stared into her blue eyes his face flushed a tad bit."My name is Lum" the girl introduced herself.

Correcting his posture Naruto's attention returned to Mr. Invader. "So I'm going to play tag with her... for the fate of the world?" Naruto asked the man, feeling like he must have missed something as some point.

"You are" Mr. Invader simply answered, confirming for the blond that this was indeed happening. "You shall play for ten days. If during that time you tag one of my daughter's horns, you will be the winner" the man explained.

"Ten days" Naruto repeated as s smirk crossed his face. Folding his arms behind his head the teen started chuckling, "Hehe, might as well pack your bags and head home now! I'll have those horns in my hand in no time!".

"Is that so? Well I'm not so easy to catch" Lum responded with a huff, her hands starting on her hips before quickly moving up to fold over her chest.

"Ha! You think so?" Naruto remarked while looking over his shoulder st the girl.

"Hmph! Think so? I know so!" Lum told him with a stern look. It annoyed her that he could make such a statement without knowing anything about her. She wouldn't let him underestimate her. Though that was before she had one of her horns in his hand and her head being gently pulled down by said horn.

"You sure? It doesn't seem to hard to me" Naruto said. Behind him Kushina and Jiraiya were comfortably drinking tea while Mr. Invader, much like his daughter, had a stunned speechless expression.

Getting over the sudden shock Lum slapped the blond's hand away as she took a step back. "That doesn't count! Our match doesn't start until tomorrow!" Lum blurted out as her hands came up to cover her horns.

Naruto was taken aback by the sudden display but his grin quickly returned. "Then I guess I'll just have to win tomorrow" the blond said.

After that Lum and Mr. Invader didn't stay for very long, after telling Naruto where the game will be played the two of them headed back to their ship. Though that didn't mean they weren't going to have other guests that day, even if most of them were reporters trying to sneak in. The only guest that didn't get through back outside was one of Naruto's classmates and a childhood friend of the blond's, Shinobu. She was a fairly cute girl with straight brown hair that reached her shoulders and coal black eyes.

Shinobu has had a crush on the young Uzumaki for quite a few years now, something Kushina had taken notice of while her son remained completely ignorant of it. Kushina often wondered if she should get involved with her son's absent love live and push the two of them together but has usually come to the conclusion that she should let things play out on their own.

"Do you really think Naruto will be alright?" Shinobu asked, leaning over the counter separating the kitchen and dinning room as the woman washed dishes. Shinobu had originally come by to see Naruto himself, but it turned out that after the two aliens had left he went out with Jiraiya for last minute training. Even if she knew exactly where the two of them were she'd only distract the boy if she went to see him.

"He'll be just fine, trust me" Kushina told the girl as she set a pan to the side to dry. "Naruto will have that game won by lunch and then everything will go back to normal" the red haired mother said, grabbing a towel to dry her hands as she turned to face Shinobu.

Seeing the look in Kushina's eyes Shinobu felt a spark of confidence ignite inside of her. This WAS Naruto they were talking about after all. If there was anyone on the planet who could pull this off it was him. With a few chuckles Shinobu responded, "I guess I'm worrying over nothing, aren't I?". She felt kind of silly for doubting the blond. Hopefully everything will be settled come this time tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello again, I'm back and it's time for Naruto and Lum's match! I hope you all enjoy the chapter!**

 **(Marshalanime does not own Naruto or Urusei Yatsura)**

"And now, at last, the game of tag upon which the future of the Earth depends is about to begin!" the announcer called out into his microphone. Behind him and throughout the city were cheering crowd, come to witness for themselves this historic event. "The entire world is watching this event live via satellite" the man announced as several camera crews had their equipment pointed at Naruto and Lum as the two competitors waited in the empty street for the starting signal.

Waiting patiently Naruto stared with Lum, a grimace on his face as his mind kept drifting to last night, 'Damn old pervert. How the hell does he expect me to concentrate on the match after he goes and says something like that?'.

The sun had set quite a while ago and the moon was high in the sky. The two shinobi had been jumping around the city for hours with one simple goal, to get Naruto as ready for his game of tag as they could. To help with this Jiraiya had stopped in at some random nick nack store and had picked up a cheep pair of horns that he could wear on his head. Once that was settled he told the blond to take them from him and ran for it.

Coming to a stop on someone's roof Jiraiya turned around and held up his hand. "Alright Naruto, that's enough" the man told the teen as he two landed on the building.

"What!? You can't be serious!" Naruto yelled at the man, a single clenched fist raising up in front of his chest. "I still haven't touched those stupid horns and you want to call it quits!?" the blond questioned the man as he pointed at the red, plastic horns sticking out of Jiraiya's white hair.

"What's the point of training if you're half asleep during the match because you stayed up all night?" Jiraiya pointed out to the blond. Jiraiya was certain that Naruto would be just fine tomorrow, but the look on the blond's face said that he still wanted more training. The kid will probably pester him all the way back to the house if he didn't do something, fortunately he was quick to come up with an idea.

With a grin forming on his face Jiraiya turned his back to the teen. "Weeeell, I can't give you anymore training for tonight, buuuuuuut..." Jiraiya began, pausing for a few seconds for Naruto to take the bait.

"But what? Come on, out with it Ero-sannin!" Jiraiya heard the blond blurt out, confirming that he had gotten the blonds interest.

"I wont give you training, but I can give you an incentive to win tomorrow" Jiraiya told him with a confident grin as he folded his arms over his chest and sagely nodded his head. "You see, I've heard some interesting rumors lately, rumors concerning you... From what I understand Homura and Koharu have been digging throw some old laws and regulations" Jiraiya said.

"And what's that got to do with me?" Naruto asked, quickly losing interest as his head and shoulders dropped.

"You wouldn't have to ask if you'd just wait till I finished" Jiraiya told Naruto as he turned at the waste to look at the blond. "They're not exactly pleased with the way you and Kushina are living outside the village. They're looking to bind you too the village through an arranged marriage" the old man said, immediately getting a reaction from the teen as Naruto's head jerked up and he took a few steps back in shock. "If you grab that girl's horns tomorrow I'll make sure they pick out a babe for you! What'd ya say, pretty good motivation don't ya think?" Jiraiya said with a big, slightly goofy grin, a grin he kept up to the point Naruto hit him over the head.

"Motivation my ass!" Naruto shouted immediately after his fist collided with Jiraiya's head and knocking the fake horns off his head. Of all the idiotic things Jiraiya could've said that was by far the most idiotic.

"The hell was that for!?" Jiraiya shouted back at Naruto as he hit him in return.

Quickly raising his head back up Naruto glared at the toad sage. "You damn pervert!" Naruto gritted out as the two of them got in each other's faces. "I'm too young to get married, especially to any girl you'd pick out!" Naruto yelled at the man.

"Why you ungrateful little..." Jiraiya muttered. "If that's how you feel then I'll be sure to pick out a wife for you if you LOSE! How's that!?" the white haired man shouted at the teen.

'Damn it all' Naruto thought to himself as his full attention turned to Lum. He was sure that Jiraiya wouldn't actually go through with that should he fail to grab Lum's horns today, but on the off chance he was wrong about that Naruto was going to put his all into grabbing that alien girl.

As a man stepped out from the side and raised a starting pistol into the air the crowd collectively held their breath. In a mater of seconds everything will start. "On you mark! Get set!" the man yelled out as Naruto and Lum readied themselves for the match in these last few seconds. The moment the trigger was pulled Naruto bolted from the starting line, headed straight for Lum. However, Lum was quick to move as well. She wasn't going to underestimate him after how easily he grabbed her yesterday and the moment the gun went off her feet left the ground. To everyone's amazement she was flying up into thr sky, and away from Naruto.

"You can fly?!" Naruto loudly asked the girl as he ran below her. This wasn't exactly something they had planned for.

"You should've done your homework" Lum responded with a confident smirk as she flew around above the blond. It didn't matter how fast he was, he'd never grab her horns if he can't reach her. With that said, her confident smirk briefly turned into a panicked expression when the blond jumped up toward her. It was only quick reflexes that allowed her to pull up in time to avoid him, his fingers brushing against her foot before he fell back to the ground.

'Damn, so close' the blond thought as the announcer said something similar. Looking up he could see Lum rising out of reach. This was probably going to take longer that anticipated.

'This is for the sake of the Earth, so no holding back...' Naruto thought as he brought his hands together. Lum and the crowd fell into confusion for a brief moment as the blond disappeared in a cloud of smoke, only for all of them to be stunned when two identical blonds ran out of the dispersing cloud. Locking arms with his clone Naruto let himself be spun around before being launched up towards Lum.

"This is incredible folks! Never in my live have I seen such incredible feats!" the announcer yelled out as Naruto rocketed towards the alien girl.

Off to the side Kushina let out a sight, a small smirk on her face. "So much for keeping that a secret" the woman remarked, though she didn't seem to have any anger or annoyance in her voice. In fact, it seemed Like she was almost pleased about this.

"It was only a matter of time" Jiraiya commented as he and Shinobu stood next to the red haired Uzumaki, watching the match along side her.

As Naruto came flying at her Lum dove down. "You can clone yourself!?" the girl asked in complete surprise as the blond went over her, his hands reaching out in a vain attempt to grab her.

"You just didn't do your homework" Naruto told her, giving her a smirk as Lum gave him a slightly annoyed glare.

As Naruto started to descend he flipped over so he'd land on his feet, and when he did land it was on top of a street lamp. Without wasting time Naruto Lum found herself being approached by more than half-a-dozen Narutos. "I've got you now!" Naruto shouted out as the group of clones soared right for the green haired alien.

Lum wouldn't be able to fly her way out of this one, they'd reach her before she could move out of the way. Thinking quickly the girl came to only one option. As the blonds got close Lum's body started to spark with electricity. In a show of dazzling light, bolts of thunder shot out from her body and spread through Naruto and his clones. One by one each clone popped and disappeared until only the original was left. Trying to endure the electricity Naruto stretched out his hand for the girl's head, but ultimately his momentum was lost and he started to plummet to the asphalt road below.

"Naruto!" Shinobu cried out, leaning as far out over the barricade as she could as the blond crashed into the road. She'd known for a long time now that Naruto lived a dangerous live but she'd always tried to push it to the back of her mind, telling herself that Naruto would always come back after a mission. Seeing him get hurt like this felt like she had a vice tightening around her heart.

"Is this the end of today's event folks!? Has our hero fallen at Miss Lum's thunder!? What will happen to the Earth!?" the announcer shouted out through his microphone as everyone watched Naruto with baited breath, waiting to see if he'd get back up.

"Okay... so she's got a few more tricks... Big deal..." Naruto muttered to himself as he started to push himself onto his hands and knees, lingering arcs of electricity jumping around his body as he did so. Pushing himself into a kneeling position Naruto's head tilted up to look at lum hoovering above him, a smirk playing across his face, 'I've got some more tricks myself'.

'What is he planning?' Lum wondered as she watched the blond staring up at her. She watched as he tilted his head back down and stood up, only to then put his hands together and bring forth roughly two dozen clones. 'This again?' Lum thought with a raised eyebrow as she watched the blonds run around below her until they'd formed a circle. With curiosity she watched as they went through a few more hand signs before taking in deep breaths and blowing out.

At first Lum only noticed a small increase in the wind as it gently blew through her hair, but it didn't take long for its intensity to pick up. From the center of the circle, directly below her thw wind twisted and raged till it finally reached a tipping point and shot straight up, creating a powerful vortex of wind.

With widened eyes Lum watched helplessly as she got caught in the vortex, her arms coming up to shield her eyes as she was pushed up and blown around. Around and around she went as the wind pushed her further into the air. She made a few attempts to push back against the flow but every attempt ended in her being pushed back and tumbling through the currents.

Eventually she was kicked out of the top of the spiral, left dizzy and light headed as she shakily floated around. She was a sitting duck like this but she felt confident that Naruto would never reach her up here so she had all the time in the world to recover. Unfortunately for her she hadn't noticed Naruto running up the skyscraper next to her. Once he was high enough the blond turned and umped from the side of the building, heading right for the dazed girl.

"Got you!" Naruto shouted triumphantly as he slammed into the shocked girl, his hands wrapping around the horns on her head. Due to her dizziness and the sudden extra weight on her Lum started floating, rather rapidly, towards the ground.

"He's done it! He's done it! Naruto Uzumaki has saved the Earth!" the announcer excitedly called out as the people started to cheer and rush over to where Naruto and Lum would land.

As Shinobu rushed off with everyone else Kushina and Jiraiya casually walked along with the others zooming past them. "They really underestimated us when they gave ten days to do this" Kushina remarked as Naruto and Lum descended into the center of the crowd and out of her sight.

"Well, they couldn't have possible known what Naruto was capable of when they randomly picked him out" Jiraiya told her, to which she did have to nod her head in agreement.

As the two competitors neared the ground Naruto had flipped them over so he'd be the one to hit first. With a thump the two came to a stop, and while it had stung a bit Naruto really couldn't care less at the moment as he held onto lum with a big grin. "Hehehe, so long marriage problems!" Naruto couldn't help himself as he blurted that out, he was just so happy.

Though it was meant as nothing more than his personal thought said aloud, that didn't stop Lum from hearing him and misunderstanding. "Marriage?" the girl asked as she looked over her shoulder at the blond still holding onto her horns. "Oh, I get it. OK, if you insist, I'll marry you" Lum told the blond who immediately let go of her and backed away.

"Wha!? N-NO, no! You've got the wrong ide-" Naruto was trying to nervously get out as the reporters showed up at the front of the crowd.

"Is that true!?"

"Mr. Uzumaki, are you really going to marry Lum!?"

"Oh, this is good! This must be the best goodwill marriage ever!"

"He's barely known her for a day and he's already asking for her hand in marriage! What a guy Mr. Uzumaki is, eh!?"

Naruto could hear several of the reporters say as Lum came up to him and wrapped her arms around him.

"Naruto!" the blond heard his friend hiss out as his mind tried to comprehend what the hell was going on. Turning his head in her direction he was swiftly met with a slap to the face. "How could you!?" Shinobu shouted before turning and running off while crying into her hands.

"Wha...?" Naruto dumbly asked as his hand slowly came up to rub the throbbing hand print on his face. All the while Lum was nuzzling her cheek into his shoulder as cameras repeatedly took pictures of them together.

Of to the side Kushina was watching these events unfold, her arms folded over her chest and her gaze hard. "Jiraiya..." the woman said, getting the man next to her to all but jump out of his skin at her tone. "You wouldn't happen to have a part in this, would you?" the woman asked, her gaze never leaving her confused son.

"O-Of course not! How could I possible be responsible for this!?" Jiraiya managed to say, a cold sweet running down his neck as he turned his head away from the woman. Surely he couldn't be blamed for this, right?


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello again, back with a new chapter. It's a tad on the short end up it's a good set up for the next few chapters I have planned. I hope you all en joy the read!**

 **(Marshalanime does not own Naruto or Urusei Yatsura)**

Naruto, Kushina, and Jiraiya were in a very odd situation. Around the three shinobi were the curved walls of the sparsely decorated guest room aboard Mr. Invader's ship. Sitting on tiger print cushions in the center of the room, the three of them silently wondered how they ended up in this situation, none of them having pleasant expressions as they did.

It had all started with the day prior after the big match between Naruto and Lum that ended in a victory for Earth and an unintentional marriage proposal. After lovingly clinging to Naruto for a while Lum had taken off, cheerfully saying that she was going to tell her father the good news. Naruto, acting as any normal guy would after accidentally asking a girl to marry him, ran for it the moment Lum took her eyes off of him.

'Damn that old pervert! This is all his fault!' Naruto mentally shouted as he jumped over the news hungry reporters. Naruto swore he'd give Jiraiya hell the next time he saw the old lecher.

Feeling uneasy with the cheering crowd calling out his name Naruto decided to duck into an alley way. Avoiding his new bride would be a lot easier if he didn't have everyone's eyes on him. As Naruto started to wind his way through the vacant pathways of the city he was joined by two others.

"Naruto, sweaty, is there something going on here?" Kushina asked the teen as her and Jiraiya came up on either side of the blond. She was confused and, if she was honest, worried about her son's actions. She'd known the boy his whole live and not once had she ever believe he'd just ask some random girl to marry him. "Don't you think marrying that girl is a little sudden? You hardly know her" Kushina said to the teen.

"I didn't ask her to marry me!" Naruto immediately snapped as his head jerked over to Jiraiya. "This is all YOUR fault!" Naruto shouted at the man.

"ME!?" the man questioned with an appalled expression. "How is this my fault!?" Jiraiya shouted at the teen.

"How is it NOT!?" Naruto yelled back at the toad sage. "If you hadn't been talking about finding me a wife last night then I'd never have said anything about it and Lum never would've misunderstood what I said!" Naruto told the man.

Jiraiya was about to make another remark when he was silenced by Kushina's fist landing squarely between his eyes, sending him firmly into the brick wall next to him. With a ticked off expression Kushina pulled her fist back to her chest as her and Naruto continued to move through the alley without hesitation. "We'll talk about that later" Kushina muttered.

"If you don't want to marry her then just say so" Kushina told Naruto as the mother/son duo left the alleyway, turning onto an empty street as they started heading directly for their house.

"You say that like it's easy!" Naruto retorted.

"Why isn't it?" Kushina asked, giving the teen an odd look as her eyebrow raised. Surely it couldn't be that difficult to just come out and say it.

For a moment Naruto just stared at the woman as he thought of how best to convey his concerns. "What would you have done to dad if you thought he'd proposed, only for him to tell you that it was a misunderstanding?" Naruto asked the woman.

"I would've been very upset. Marriage is something very special and shouldn't be treated lightly" Kushina told the blond, a little confused as to why he was asking her something like that.

"I... see..." Naruto softly said as he turned his head away from his mother. Knowing how Kushina was when she was 'upset' Naruto could imagine what she would've done to his father in that kind of situation. Though it was probably best for him not to tell her what his imagination had come up with. "Well, I don't want Lum to get... upset..." Naruto told the woman as he turned his head forward.

With a low hum Kushina watched her son's facial features closely for a moment. Sometimes it was hard for even her to tell what was on his mind. "You know... it'll be worse if you don't tell her right away" Kushina said, trying to relay a bit of good information to her son.

"Ah! I got it!" Naruto suddenly blurted out as his face brightened up. "I'll just hide out in Konoha until she gives up looking for me and goes home!" Naruto remarked with a big grin, all the way up to the point Kushina's fist made contact with the top of his skull.

Standing over the unconscious teen, Kushina had a disappointment look on her face as she shook her head lightly and rested her hands on her hips. "Idiot" the woman muttered, wonder what she was going to do with him.

"You didn't have to hit me that hard" Naruto complained as him and his mother came up to their house.

"You don't have to be an idiot" Kushina told him as she opened the front door. The tone in her voice alone was enough to tell Naruto that she was still annoyed.

'The hell did I even do?' Naruto wandered as him and Kushina walked past the parlor where Mr. Invader and Lum were comfortably sitting. After casually walking past the open doorway the two Uzumaki came to a sudden stop before quickly backing up and staring at the two aliens.

"Welcome back Darling!" Lum greeted the stunned blond with a small wave and a big smile. "We couldn't find you in that crowd so we decided to wait for you here" the girl told them as she bounced up onto her feet.

"That's... that's..." Naruto was slowly repeating as his cute, but unintentional bride came over and wrapped her arms lovingly around him.

Watching her son freeze up as Lum snuggled her face into his shoulder Kushina felt like a migraine was going to hit her. 'This might take a while' Kushina regretfully thought to herself. How did she raise a son who was so helpless against women?

"So, son-in-law. how soon before you have your bags packed?" Mr. Invader asked with a very happy expression.

"Eh? Bags packed?" Naruto/Kushina questioned the man, momentarily forgetting about Lum as they both looked at the large oni with confusion written all over their faces.

"You want to take your things with you to planet Uru don't you? It might be a while before you can come back to Earth for a visit, so if you forget somet-" Mr. Invader was pleasantly saying when Kushina spoke up.

"MY SON IS NOT MOVING TO YOUR PLANET! GOT THAT!?" Kushina shouted at the man. Under her furious gaze Mr. Invader felt like he'd shrunk, scotching away slightly in an unconscious attempt to put distance between himself and the angry mother.

"That's okay..." Lum said, turning her head away from Naruto's shoulder as her hands rested on his chest. With everyone's attention on the green haired oni girl Lum said, "If Darling can't come live with us then I'll just stay here with him".

'Stay here!?' Kushina and Naruto thought in unison as they stared at the girl with a small amount of horror on their faces.

"Are you sure about that?" Lum's father asked, leaning forward slightly with a concerned look on his face. The man may travel around conquering planets, but he was still a father who was concerned about his little girl's well-being.

"Yep! I'd go anywhere if it meant being with Darling!" Lum happily said as she placed her head under Naruto's chin, a content smile on her face as she did so.

And so that leads us back to Naruto, Kushina, and Jiraiya sitting around on Mr. Invader's ship as it flies through the galaxy. Since Lum planned to stay on Earth she needed to fill out a bunch of paperwork and make sure her passport was up to date. The easiest, and quickest way to do this would be heading back to her home world where she'd have everything needed to finalize the move. The three shinobi tagged along hoping to find a way out of this accidental marriage before heading back to Earth.

"I'm telling you, just tell her the truth" Kushina said, her arms folded over her chest and an annoyed look on her face as she sat in a circle with Naruto and Jiraiya.

Looking to his mother, who's right index finger was now tapping her left arm, Naruto groaned at the idea. "Yeaaah, but..." Naruto started.

"No buts, just suck it up and tell her so we can go home!" Kushina told the teen.

Seeing the boy struggling with all of this Jiraiya decided to through in his two cents. After all, he had the most experience with avoiding unwanted women out of everyone here. Surely he had the answer. "If you don't want to man up and end the marriage then just get her to do it. You just got to make her hate you and then you're fre-" Jiraiya was suggesting when Kushina shouted him down.

"You're not helping!" Kushina snapped.

"Okay, okay... I was only throwing out a suggestion. Sheesh, you don't have to take my head off" Jiraiya responded, leaning back slightly as he held his hands up.

While Kushina was busy glaring at the toad sage Naruto folded his arms over his chest and tilted his head back to stair at the ceiling. 'Maaan, this isn't getting us anywhere' Naruto thought to himself just before a knock on the door had all three of them tense up.

"Darling" Lum said, poking her head into the room as the door slid open.

"Oh, Lum, nice to see you!" Naruto told her with a big, slightly nervous grin as she walked into the room. The three of them looked pretty natural considering what they were just discussing and who just walking in.

"Come on Darling!" Lum said as she leaned down, grabbing the arm Naruto was using to scratch the back of his head and pulling him up to his feet. "We'll be landing any minute now Darling" the girl said as she started to pull the blond along with her despite his protests. "There's so much I want to show you while we're here. I'm sure you'll love it Darling. Uru really is a wonderful place with lots of..." Kushina and Jiraiya could her the girl saying as she walked away further and further away from the room.

"So..." Jiraiya began as Lum's voice got further and further away. "What do you think his chances are?" the man asked.

"I'm half prepared to be a mother-in-law, if that answers anything" Kushina told him.


End file.
